Cliché
by madcap writer
Summary: Just your average Lily/James story
1. ChaPTer ONe

(mock author's note)  
**Hey guys! I just got this great idea for a story and I HAD to write it down. But don't worry! I'm still going to update my other story: Everything pointless ever having to do with Harry Potter.  
But anyways, here's the story. I spent a lot of time on it. I hope it's good. Please read and review! Those who review get an online cookie, friend, hug, and foot massage!  
THANKS  
ThE MUDDY WOrM!!**

* * *

Fifth Year:

Lily Evans and Severus Snape share a compartment on the way to Hogwarts for their fifth year. They have been friends forever.

Lily is wearing this stylish yet modest yet hot outfit that is her 'own style' but shows off her amazing figure. She has brilliant auburn hair and sparkling emerald green eyes. She is wearing the perfect eye shadow to match her clothes. Lily put on the slightest shiny pinkish lip gloss. She is (for some unknown reason) wearing pumps. Everyone loves her.

Snape is greasy.

James walks in the compartment. He is hot. Not that Lily notices.

He runs his hand through his hair.

"Hey Evans, wanna go out with me?" said James.

"NO! You are an arrogant toerag!" said Lily.

Lily slams the door in his face.

Severus and Lily look at each other.

They strike up conversation.

"OH MY GOSH! I HATE JAMES POTTER SO MUCH!" said Lily.

"Yeah, I hate him too. But you should look out for him. He likes you. coughiloveyoulilycough" said Severus

"What was that?" said Lily

"Nothing" said Severus

* * *

A few weeks later in the dorm, Lily and her best-friends-for-ever-and-ever-even-when-Voldemort-kills-her-and-they-don't-even-try-to-contact-her-son are talking. They are all gorgeous, but not as much as Lily.

"Ohmagawd, Lily, you should totally go out with James Potter." Said Lily's bffeaeewVkhatdettchs

"NO! He is an arrogant toerag!" said Lily.

A few more weeks later, Lily is walking down the corridor. She hears a voice. She turns.

"Lily! I love you!" said James.

"I hate you!" said Lily.

* * *

The O.W.L.'s have finished. Lily hears Severus call her a mudblood. She cries. A week later she sees both Potter and Snape in the same hallway. She makes a scene.

"I HATE YOU JAMES POTTER!" said Lily, "AND I HATE YOU TOO SEVERUS SNAPE!"

"Lily, I love you!" they both say.

Lily is shocked by Snape. She breaks his heart.

* * *

It's the end of the year. Lily rides home with her bffeaeewVkhatdettchs.

* * *

It's the summer. Lily is lonely. She leaves the house to avoid Petunia. She meets Han. Han is hot. She talks to Han. She dates Han. She dreams of becoming Mrs. Han Summ. But something doesn't feel right.

It's time for Lily to go back to Hogwarts. She breaks it off with Han. Not without some graphic scenes though.

Lily looks forward to her sixth year. She feels change coming **(OBNOXIOUS AUTHOR'S NOTE HERE! LOOK AT THIS SENTENCE CAREFULLY. FORESHADOWING!)**

* * *

Real author's note:  
Ahhhhh... this is fun to write. Don't get me wrong, I _love _Lily/James stories. I'm trying to write one myself, but it sounds a lot like every other L/J story. I'm workin on it.  
I just noticed a pattern with some of the stories and I thought I'd add mine to the stack.


	2. the next chapter

**OMG! I am soooooooooooOooo000OOoo sorry I haven't updated sooner! My life has been crazy. Let me go into excruciating detail for you. I've had crazy amounts of homework that take me hours everyday. My teachers are EVIL! They're all out to get me. Then I got sick with laziauthoritis. I was bedridden for a whole TWO MINUTES! I was just about to sit down and write some more when my friends called and we just _had_ to hang out. I was gonna write as soon as i got home but it turned into this omega awesome slumber party and we were up really really really really late. I crashed as soon as i got home. Then, just as I was ready to write, i saw this scab on my leg that I simply had to pick at. So i did. But here it finally is!!#&!!(!! Hope you like it!  
LOVE--  
Muddy Worm  
OH! and thanks to my reviewers. nothinbetter2do, compleeeetleeNsayne, cubbiebuddiebearkidguy, reviews4NEthing, and jack. You guys are the best!**

* * *

Sixth year:

Lily went to Hogwarts on the train as usual. She sat with her bffeaeewVkhatdettchs.

James came into the compartment.

"Hey Evans, wanna go out with me?" said James

"No! You're an arrogant toerag!" said Lily.

* * *

James sees Lily in the hallway.

"I LOVE YOU LILY!" said James.

"I HATE YOU POTTER! YOU ARE AN ARROGANT TOERAG!" said Lily.

* * *

It's Christmas. Lily looks out a random window in the middle of the night. She sees some shooting stars. She looks at the ground. She sees James rescuing kittens from the Forbidden Forest. She looks up at the sky again. There are more shooting stars. It's a sign. Her heart softens towards James.

* * *

James sees Lily in the hallway.

"I LOVE YOU LILY!" said James.

"I HATE YOU JAMES!" said Lily.

"You called me 'James'" said James. He passes out from shock. So does everyone else in the castle.

Lily escapes to her super secret hideout that she discovered in her first year but didn't remember until this exact moment. Lily is very confused.

* * *

Lily is sitting in the great hall. She gets a letter. The letter says her parents have died. She cries.

* * *

Lily sits with the Marauders on the way home from Hogwarts. Lily has become best friends with Remus over the past year. They found out that they both have a love for books. Her bffeaeewVkhatdettchs joins her to flirt with Sirius. By the end of the train ride, both Lily's bffeaeewVkhatdettchs and Sirius confessed their love for each other. They are dating.

* * *

Lily stays at the Leaky Cauldron because her parents are dead. She is shopping in Diagon Alley one day. She accidentally left her bags in front of the orphanage in Diagon Alley. She looks up at the building as she gets her bags. She sees James teaching little orphan boys how to ride a broom. Her heart softens for him even more. Lightning flashes. It must be a sign.

* * *

**Hoped you liked year six. I had particular fun with the authors note at the top. Tell me what you think.**


	3. you shall count, only, to three!

**HEEEEEEEEEEEYyyyyyyyy!  
DON'T WORRY! this is NOT the end. i've still got one more chapter to go! D  
I really like this chapter, i feel like Lily come a long way in this one. She starts out normal and then by the end... wellll you'll just have to read it yourself -cutesie annoying wink-  
Thanks again to all my reviewers!  
LOVE-  
M  
W**

* * *

Seventh year:

Lily got Head Girl. She was happy. Everyone else was happy for her too. They all told her that they weren't surprised.

Lily waked onto platform nine and three quarters. She looked around for the Head Boy. She couldn't find him because she didn't know who he was. She went to the prefects compartment to wait for him there.

James Potter walked in. He did not ask her out.

"James, get out of here!" said Lily.

"No." said James.

"Why not!?" said Lily.

"Because I'm head boy." said James.

"You can't be. You just stole the badge from Remus." said Lily.

"I promise you, its mine." said James.

The combined shock of James being Head Boy and not asking her out caused Lily to faint.

When she woke up, she saw that James was leading the meeting. He covered rules and patrolling schedules. She was shocked again. She just sat there, gaping. Like a fish.

"Bye Lily." said James. He walked out the door.

Then Lily realized that she loved James. She had never hated him. She finally saw the light radiating from every inch of him. Lily was astonished.

* * *

She tried to deny her feelings toward James. It didn't work.

* * *

Lily's bffeaeewVkhatdettchs and Sirius fall in love. A month later, Sirius does something stupid. They break up. Neither of them are ever the same.

* * *

It was Christmas time. Dumbledore announced a Christmas Masquerade ball. Lily went as a super flying fairy princess doll. She is wearing something that can hardly qualify as a mask. Everyone knows it's her. She doesn't care.

She meets a boy. The boy says, "Hi, Lily."

Lily can't see his face because of the mask. She doesn't feel like putting in the microscopic amount of common sense needed to figure out who he is, so Lily wonders all night about it.

They dance. They talk. She still hasn't found out. They talk some more. He is charming. They kiss, even though Lily _never_ kisses random strangers, she made an exception tonight.

Dumbledore announces the time: midnight. It's time to take off the masks. Lily turns to mystery boy and takes off her mask. He removes his mask. OH! –shock and disbelief- it's JAMES!! –gasp-

Lily is surprised, but very happy. They kiss obscenely. Everyone sees. They all faint of shock. Snape lets out a wail of agony, and then faints.

* * *

They fall in love. They share some pretty pg-13 scenes. A month later, James does something stupid. They break up. She cries, He cries. It's tragic. **(**mock **AN: DON'T KILL ME FOR THIS PART!! i think that Lily and James probably had some relationship problems. They are normal people after all. But DON'T WORRY! it will get better pretty soon. D)**

* * *

A week later, Lily takes him back. She loves him too much.

* * *

It's graduation. Everyone is happy and sad at the same time. It's the end of Hogwarts. Lily makes a speech because she's Head Girl.

Later that day, James pulls her into a private area of the grounds.

"Lily, I love you, will you marry me?" said James.

"Yes!" said Lily.

Some more graphic scenes happen.

* * *

**I really am going to do one more chapter. The classic 'happily ever after untill they die' thing. Thanks for reading, thanks for reviewing. Do it again.**


	4. for, fore, fork, force

**Ok guys. Sorry it took me soooOOOoo00ooOOO00oo long to update. This was a really difficult chapter for me to write. I think I really captured Lily and James after Hogwarts. This is the FINAL CHAPTER! I know, sad, right? I just want to thank all the people who reviewed and supported me. It has been such a rewarding experience for me. I have enjoyed writing this story so much. I'll really miss writing it. I want to give a shout out to my best friend Lula. She really encouraged me to keep writing, even when i didn't feel so sure of myself. Also, thanks Mom for signing me up for Fan Fiction Addicts Anonymous (FFAA). I know you were just trying to help. And happy birthday to my dog, Froufrou, it's his ten and a half month birthday today.  
LOVE--  
MoDDi WuRM**

* * *

Epilogue:

Lily and James got married. It was a beautiful wedding. Everyone came.

Sirius was the best man and Lily's bffeaeewVkhatdettchs was the maid of honor.

When they said "I do" doves flew over the congregation, and Lily and James started glowing. They shared a passionate kiss. Everyone went "awwww"

* * *

Then they fought Voldemort a few times.

* * *

A few years later, Lily was just sitting around the house one day. She felt like randomly using common sense just then.

She thought about the past few weeks: weird appetite, weight gain, morning sickness, no period.

A sudden thought hit her.

"I might be pregnant." Said Lily.

So Lily went and got a pregnancy test. She peed on it. PLUS SIGN!!

She was scared. Lily didn't know how James would take it.

James got home from work. He was an auror.

"James, I'm pregnant." Said Lily.

James was shocked. He recovered.

"Lily, that's great!" Said James.

"Really, you want a kid?" said Lily

"Of course. Not only am I the number one auror, and amazing quidditch player, and really really… _really_ good looking, I'm great with kids! I once thought of setting up a center for kids who can't read good." Said James.

"Yay!" said Lily.

* * *

A few months later, Lily and James were sitting at home. Lily had a fat stomach.

"Let's think of names." Said James

"Ok. What do you have in mind?" said Lily

"Harold." Said James

"No. It sounds like an old guy." Said Lily.

"What about Harry?" said James

"That's PERFECT!" said Lily

* * *

A few months later, Harry was born. Lily and James were so happy.

Everyone came to see baby Harry.

"Sirius, will you be god father?" said James, or Lily… it's not really that relevant to the plot, so it doesn't matter.

Sirius was stunned.

Then someone muttered the counter curse (and an apology) and Sirius was surprised. He recovered.

"Sure." Said Sirius.

* * *

A few months later, Lily and James met with Dumbledore.

Dumbledore told them about the prophecy.

Lily cried. James was stony faced.

"There is a way to protect you though." Said Dumbledore.

"How?" Said James and/or Lily.

"There is a charm that will hide you from Voldemort." Said Dumbledore

"Let's do it." Said Lily and/or James.

So they did.

* * *

Voldemort found them. They didn't have much time to be mad a Peter, but they were anyways. They did, however, have time to confess their undying love for each other.

"James, I have always loved you!" said Lily.

"I have always loved you too, Lily!" said James.

Then Lily rushed upstairs to protect Harry.

Even as Voldemort entered, she still had hope. That was just the way her optimistic personality worked.

When she saw Voldemort raise his wand, she was happy. She knew that she was dying to protect her son, and that was enough for her.

Then Lily died.

**_THE END_**

* * *

**So that's the end of my Lily/James cliche rant. Hope you liked it.  
Kudos to the people who got the Zoolander bit.  
Review just so I know my efforts weren't totally wasted. **


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